I have to laugh sometimes about authors and the writing process. We can write “The End” as many times as we want, or mark a file “final,” but there is not a single time when reviewing a story, post, or even email that we won’t tweak or want to tweak a sentence. And woe to the author of a published work who finds an error or “could be better” section in the copy.
But truthfully, if at some point we don’t stop tweaking, nothing will get published and we’ll forever be rewriting. There comes a time when we must move on.
It’s the same with ourselves. As Walter Mosley, author of more than 50 acclaimed works said,
“The novel will never be perfect and neither will you.”
We are works of art, yet still works in progress. As part of my self-work, I’ve been studying energy healing through clearing and aligning the chakras. As with any introspective work, it’s necessary to peel back the outer layers to reach the stuff that is hidden deep beneath the surface.
I’ve directed much of my focus to forgiveness, both forgiving and being forgiven. It’s something I’ve worked on for years. Specifically, I’ve been working on releasing anger and resentment toward two men from my past.
As hard as I’ve tried and as many times as I’ve gone through the process of letting go, the pain and anger still resurface from time to time. And so I continue the work whenever the hurt crops up.
One recent morning when a memory of one of the men came up with the old animosity, I stopped myself, took a moment for a deep breath, and asked to feel forgiveness instead of resentment.
A flash of pure white light filled my mind for an instant and I felt a swift, uplifting sensation of total clarity—so much so that I began to laugh out loud at my insight.
What a favor this man did for me! If he hadn’t been deceitful, I may never have married Joe. Whatever relationship I would have had with this man would have ultimately failed because he was wrong for me.
Now instead of anger, hurt, and resentment, I will forever feel grateful that he left my life.
Shortly afterward, an unexpected phone call from a relative of the other man sparked a memory from long, long ago…almost ancient history. But it reminded me of what that man had been to me in my youth and why I fell in love with him back then. Suddenly, the man he became later didn’t exist, and I could once again see him with the loving eyes of my younger self.
Releasing these deep resentments from my heart felt like a sudden weight loss of 20 pounds! I felt lighter, happier, and far more joyful.
I had to ask myself: Why now? I’ve meditated and prayed for this moment for years. What was different this time?
After much thought, here’s what I believe.
We are energy bodies, pure energy that manifests itself in ways seen (as our physical selves) and unseen (as our emotions). But unseen doesn’t mean unfelt or unmanageable. Once we begin to understand that there’s so much going on in our bodies beneath the outer layer of skin that is within our control, we can open ourselves to the changes we seek to make.
And like most home projects (think cleaning out a closet or garage), clearing your energy body is a much bigger job than you anticipate when you begin. You find stuff you had forgotten or didn’t even know was there.
But as Marie Kondo can tell you, when you start to rid yourself of stuff that doesn’t bring you joy, you have all this new, cleared space to enjoy. Any Feng Shui advocate can attest to the value of clearing space for improved energy flow in a room or home.
The same is true for our inner space. When you clear old emotional, psychological, or physical wounds that you may or may not have realized you were harboring, you can then fill yourself with energy that serves you better.
And that’s how I explain what happened to me: I "Marie Kondo'd" my heart, leaving only space for what gives me joy.
In very over-simplified terms, clearing and realigning the chakras (seven energy centers from the base of the spine to the crown of the head) through meditation and intention removes blockages and recreates a positive energy flow within. And then magic begins to show up.
For some reason, even though I had wished to be rid of the grudges I was feeling toward these two men from my past for many years, something within me was holding on. For all I know, they may not even have been the true targets of my anger, but it was being expressed that way—until I starting clearing my inner energy.
My body no longer had room for the resentment because I learned to fill myself with loving feelings that nurtured and served my highest good. And just like that, I was able to release the old garbage once and for all.
The last—and really interesting—piece to this story I will share with you is that the forgiveness work I was doing at the time of the chakra clearing wasn’t for me… it was for someone else. But what we put out comes back, and so I healed myself in the process.
As far as this story is concerned, I can finally write the “The End” and know I’m done—at least with this chapter. But as every writer knows, there are always more stories to be written and more edits to be made. We are our greatest works in progress.
Image: Logging on Long Beach Peninsula ©Gemignani
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